Guilt

My baby girl with her stuffed animal named "Puppy".

Look at those eyes....Adorable right? That's my baby girl and her stuffed animal named Puppy.

I love being a mom. Kids are wonderful and stinky too.  As a Mother and Wife trying to raise my kids and build an art career, I sometimes feel guilt for not putting my art totally on hold until the kids are grown up.

I allow for my art and business to take a back seat to the kids and family in general but I refuse to totally stop my work to focus only on my family. So the word SELFISH pops into my head and I am sure many of yours....

When women are confronted with their own selfishness, I think we are programmed to feel guilt on some level. We are supposed to be SELF-LESS. That is the model I was raised with. My mother, my grandmothers, etc...on back. But with my mom, I was also aware of her own personal frustration.

Is it SELFISH to want to balance my life? It would be easier on me on so many levels to resign myself and stop creating right now and wait until my kids are grown and out of the house. Also, I don't find it appealing to never be there for my kids. The idea of someone else helping them with homework or teaching my toddler how to write her name is completely unacceptable to me.  I am MOM.

But at the end of the day, I want to be alone, go to my studio and paint.  Is that SELFISH? Maybe so. But being selfish in NOT the problem. The hard part is achieving and maintaining a healthy BALANCE.  That the rub.

I would love to read your thoughts on this. I know I don't have all the answers but I am actively searching.....